Change and My Greatest Fears

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We’re counting down {days}, yep days until our newest addition arrives and the fear it brings me is unmeasurable as is my love for him already. I question my parenting daily, and often question why God thought I would make a good mom, why would He send me these children, trust me to raise them in the right way? When these thoughts start t overwhelm me I go to the word for comfort and reassurance.

My Favorite Mommy Verses:

  • “Every good and perfect gift is from above.” ~James 1:17
  • “Blessed is she who believed that the Lord would fulfill {HIS} promises to her.” ~Luke 1:45
  • “God bless mothers.” Philippians 4:19

Oh I could go on, there are so many that have gotten me through toddler tantrums, a messy house, days without any rest. Because of his word here we are having number 3!! His word comforts my fears and on my worst days I am reminded that I am a mom by NO MISTAKE!!! He choose me to raise these sweet children(who sometimes aren’t so sweet), he already knows where I will have my struggles, he knows my weaknesses as a mom but he still knew that I was the best choice for my kids, just as you are for yours!!! It blows my mind when I think about this, and it empowers me as a mom, encourages me to do better, allows me to forgive myself when I make a mistake.

Now about the change that a third child will bring…..

I really dislike change, it scares me. I don’t like feeling like I have no control, because no matter how vivid my dreams have been, I don’t know how he will fit into our daily routine or how the girls will react to him. Now I have researched so much about having a third, transition ideas for my girls and have even made busy boxes for our toddler and explained to M how being the oldest comes with great responsibility. And yes I was this nervous before number 1 and 2, and yes they are still alive, kicking and seem too have minimal damage….so far. So once again I go to God’s word for comfort.

Verses that get me through change:

  • “Be still and know that I am God.” ~Psalm 45:10
  • “She is clothed in strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future.” ~ Proverbs 31:25
  • “For with God nothing shall be impossible.” ~Luke 1:37

For the past month I have been fighting hard to truly give everything to God, and remove myself form the struggle. He knows my past and my future, so why worry?? So I have chosen to focus on what I can control, keeping up with my daily cleaning, making arraignments for our girls for the big day, making all our freezer crockpot meals. I have chosen to leave everything else up to him, because no matter what it’s his plans and I trust him!

Jesus, Dance, And Baby Appointments

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I know I promised to be more on top of my blog but I allowed life to get in the way and got my priorities all backwards. I have always been one who likes to be busy, I don’t have a full plate it’s more like a BIG platter. And if it’s not full I question my worth and feel unneeded. But as the week closed I heard God saying “Ashlie, stop and be still. Don’t let things pass you by, your missing out on memories. Have faith in me and let your stress and feeling of being overwhelmed go.”  OH God I needed that, I know He has probably been yelling it at me and I kept choosing to ignore it, something I am working on!!

So what has me all crazy and running around like ElastiGirl??? Well it’s dance competition for my oldest daughter as well as spring recital is next month!! So we have been living at the studio, doing quick changes and I am now a pro with applying stage makeup and the tightest hair buns!!! d3She also turned 7!?!?! What?? That’s another blog post in itself….if I get to it. 🙂 We will remain busy with dance until the end of May. (Yes her bother is due in May) Very grateful that little sister loves the dance studio and they are laid back and can overlook my insane way to energetic almost 2 year old!! As well for the moms who have offered help to get M to dance after little man arrives.

We have hit the baby appointments every week…finally!! He seems to be head down and 4ish pounds, oh and will be here next month?!?!anderson35 The next few appointments will give us more answers to how were doing. I have been nesting like a mad woman, and with a toddler running around is not as easy as I remember last time around. HaHa! His nursery is about 95% done, diaper bag packed, I have my playlist ready, registered already at the hospital, arrangements for our girls and my labor plan printed. But still so much to do!!!! But I am remaining calm and listening to God taking it easy, the best I can.

So that brings me to Jesus. Even though I had slipped him to the backburner and often wasn’t checking in with him, he just waited quietly beside me. And in a very emotional, way to overwhelmed day, in the middle of my tears full of stress, I felt hid presence like a hug. All I could do is sob and whisper my apologies for taking control away. As always he renewed me through prayer, reassured of my path and current season of life and filled me hope and faith. We often get so busy, we forget he is the one guiding our ship even in the storms. There is a plan and he will ALWAYS make sure we make it to our destinations.

I want to be more intentional with him leading our ship as a family and as a single passenger on this voyage to Christ. I want to go to him in prayer for everything!!! To give him the glory on days I wake up and make it to bed in one piece and to the days I feel torn apart. I want to thank him for the good, the amazing, and the rough times because I know it’s the path he designed for me!!

So I challenge you to pick one thing to work on for the next month. It can be sticking to a bible study plan, really listening to the Holy Spirit in church, prayer, anything! But I promise in 30 days (I bet less) you will feel Him in ways you had forgotten or never have experienced. I pray for anyone reading my blog, that your journey with Christ be full of blessings, even when the season is gray and gloomy because the finish line is all that matters.